For a number of years I subscribed to a writer's magazine, until it finally dawned on me that I was reading about writing in a magazine written by people who were writing about writing, and that perhaps time might be better spent by all of us if we just wrote instead.
For the past couple of weeks I have done a lot of thinking about writing, but very little actual writing. As I developed the previous blog posts, I enjoyed the discipline of sitting down and writing something directly onto the website almost every day. It was a real struggle not to pre-write everything in Word and put it through multiple proofings. I knew that I did not want to become obsessive, which is my natural tendency, and then feel guilty if I didn't write, so I skipped a few days. Then I spent some time absorbed in another very good book on introversion (which I will write about another day). And yes, it is possible for a slightly obsessive introverted person to get carried away on reading books about introversion - seems logical to me.
Then I found myself journaling the old-fashioned way, in an actual spiral journal with an actual pen. Bits and pieces of thought that I wanted to capture but wasn't really ready to develop yet. And, besides, I didn't want to get up and go to the computer.
Now I realize that I need to find a middle ground. I will not let myself feel guilty when I skip writing for the day - or for several days. But, on the other hand, I have realized that the discipline of writing really does help me on many levels. I have struggled off and on throughout my adult life with depression, and I realized years ago that when I was depressed I did not write; I saw it as a symptom of my depression. It has been only recently that I have begun to realize that perhaps it was at least partly the other way around - perhaps not writing fed the depression. In my readings on introversion, I have also run across the idea of writing as a form of worship, and I know that is true for me. So I think I need to pay attention to the discipline of writing. Even if some days I write about writing!